How to Bathe a Cat
Sun Jul 24, 2005 1:32 am
ROFL! My friend sent me this in an email....the last oart cracked me up.
Dear Cat Owner,
Following are instructions on the best way to bathe your cat:
1. Thoroughly clean the toilet.
2. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water, and
have both lids lifted.
3. Obtain the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the
bathroom.
4. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close
both lids (you may need to stand on the lid so that he cannot
escape). CAUTION: Don't get any part of your body too close to
the edge, as his paws will be reaching out to grab anything they
can find. The cat will self-agitate and make ample suds. Never
mind the noises that come from your toilet, the cat is actually
enjoying this.
5. Flush the toilet 3 or 4 times. This provides a "powerwash and
rinse" which I have found to be quite effective.
6. Have someone open the door to the outside and ensure that
there are no people between the toilet and the outside door.
7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift
both lids.
8. The now-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet and run
outside where he will dry himself.
Sincerely,
The DOG
Dear Cat Owner,
Following are instructions on the best way to bathe your cat:
1. Thoroughly clean the toilet.
2. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water, and
have both lids lifted.
3. Obtain the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the
bathroom.
4. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close
both lids (you may need to stand on the lid so that he cannot
escape). CAUTION: Don't get any part of your body too close to
the edge, as his paws will be reaching out to grab anything they
can find. The cat will self-agitate and make ample suds. Never
mind the noises that come from your toilet, the cat is actually
enjoying this.
5. Flush the toilet 3 or 4 times. This provides a "powerwash and
rinse" which I have found to be quite effective.
6. Have someone open the door to the outside and ensure that
there are no people between the toilet and the outside door.
7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift
both lids.
8. The now-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet and run
outside where he will dry himself.
Sincerely,
The DOG
Sun Jul 24, 2005 5:30 am
That was so hilarious...but it sounds so cruel at the same time o.O
lol
Sun Jul 24, 2005 6:38 pm
Omg that is funny. I couldn't even finissh reading it because I was laughing too hard. I made a board on how to wash a fish. It was funny.
Mon Jul 25, 2005 2:48 am
I remembr the 'how to wash a fish' board. Actually, I mainly remember sprite coming out my nose when I read it.
Mon Jul 25, 2005 3:01 am
Yeah. I made that board up. I thought it was pretty funny too. I can't remember my pass to that sn so I don't use it and I made a new one.
Mon Jul 25, 2005 3:19 am
I was first thinking "That is so cruel" but I got the end of it. And plus, this is the "Jokes" section.
Very funny.
Very funny.
Tue Aug 02, 2005 2:30 am
That was hilarious! 
I'm glad I wasn't drinking anything at the time.
It reminds me of "How to Give a Cat a Pill".
I'm glad I wasn't drinking anything at the time.
It reminds me of "How to Give a Cat a Pill".
Tue Aug 02, 2005 4:12 am
*cracks up*
This never fails to amuse me.
This never fails to amuse me.
Sat Aug 06, 2005 5:40 pm
Still can't stop laughing!
Sat Aug 06, 2005 7:47 pm
for a cat loving person like me, thats not very funny. but if I owned a dog, well I would be laughing my pants off!
Sun Sep 10, 2006 4:16 am
that reminds me of when i was little,i stuck my cat in the toilet 