Love of your life
Mon May 01, 2006 11:23 am
I'm randomly wondering how some people can stay married for such a long time. I personally wouldn't get married (okay, I'd do hand fasting but even then...) because I don't think I can stay with the same person for the rest of my life.
Mon May 01, 2006 12:59 pm
Obviously you have never been in love, then.
Mon May 01, 2006 1:26 pm
Not necessarily, Paul. People who are in love aren't always together forever. Relationships end. I think more and more it's becoming harder for people to think of spending their life with one person.
Mon May 01, 2006 1:38 pm
Maybe, but how can someone be in love when they're already thinking of a time without that person?
"I'm going to love this person with all my heart, but I know it's not going to last." It doesn't work, some how.
People might think/hope that their love will last for ever. Some times it doesn't, but unless you've actually been in love, you don't really know about that "eternal love" feeling, eh.
"I'm going to love this person with all my heart, but I know it's not going to last." It doesn't work, some how.
People might think/hope that their love will last for ever. Some times it doesn't, but unless you've actually been in love, you don't really know about that "eternal love" feeling, eh.
Mon May 01, 2006 2:08 pm
If you are truly, and I mean TRULY in love with someone, you would want to spend the rest of your life with them.
I thought I was in love with someone, but when it came down to getting engaged, I freaked and dissapeared. I realized I didn't really love him.
Now I have been married to my awesome husband for 4 years in June, and been together for 6 years. I have known his family for 10 years and we were freinds, but realized that when we hadn't seen each other in a while, we would go look for each other...realized we actually loved each other and ended up getting married and have never regretted it since!
I thought I was in love with someone, but when it came down to getting engaged, I freaked and dissapeared. I realized I didn't really love him.
Now I have been married to my awesome husband for 4 years in June, and been together for 6 years. I have known his family for 10 years and we were freinds, but realized that when we hadn't seen each other in a while, we would go look for each other...realized we actually loved each other and ended up getting married and have never regretted it since!
Mon May 01, 2006 4:26 pm
Paul wrote:Maybe, but how can someone be in love when they're already thinking of a time without that person?
So you can't be in love with someone who has a couple of years to live?
It's just an example. But anyone could die tomorrow, couldn't they?
I dunno, I think there's a difference between wanting to be with someone forever, and being conscious of the realities of such a thing.
Mon May 01, 2006 4:43 pm
Igg wrote:Paul wrote:Maybe, but how can someone be in love when they're already thinking of a time without that person?
So you can't be in love with someone who has a couple of years to live?
I, John Smith, take you Mary Sue, to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.
But someone ending the relationship is wordly different from someone dying due to an illness.
Mon May 01, 2006 5:50 pm
It is possible that (person A) really loves (person B) but (person B) doesn't love them back, thus (person A) really had experienced love for (person B) without it lasting forever.
But that statement can be defended in that real love requires the emotional investment of both parties. </lawyer-ish-ness>
For me, I've found that the love of my life can only be me. I have been infatuated with people only to have my dreams of amour crash to the ground leaving me in despair and feeling worthless and I have had people infatuated with me only to find that something about their living conditions would severely compromise my future or I was while liking them, not in love with them and there have been none where the feeling was mutual. I realize that love is about more than simple attraction but it really is a key element and there is the personality that plays an even higher role.
For me, I put my business life ahead of every thing else. I know this doesn't work for some people but it's the path I've chosen and I don't want anyone trying to change that, it's my decision what I do with my life. I think I could do more good for the world with my career than selfishly enjoying a relationship that would ultimately end up no where, leaving me with nothing. 50% of all marriages fail and that is because it requires the dedication of both people. Overtime the lesson I've learned the strongest is, take the positive things that are offered but never depend on other people, only count on yourself.
It would be highly unlikely that I could find someone who was not a disadvantage to me in the long run and felt mutual love for me. Honestly I would need someone who was career oriented but was affectionate and loyal. Also besides looking decent they would need to be honest, intelligent and have a very slow temper. I don't want to put up with a dramaqueen who freaks out over the smallest things and argues and lies. That would never last.
Maybe I'm being too picky but you have to remember that I'm going to spend the rest of my life with this person so it really should be the right one. Just picking someone 'because I have to have someone' really isn't smart. I'd rather be by myself than end up getting into a condemned relationship.
But that statement can be defended in that real love requires the emotional investment of both parties. </lawyer-ish-ness>
For me, I've found that the love of my life can only be me. I have been infatuated with people only to have my dreams of amour crash to the ground leaving me in despair and feeling worthless and I have had people infatuated with me only to find that something about their living conditions would severely compromise my future or I was while liking them, not in love with them and there have been none where the feeling was mutual. I realize that love is about more than simple attraction but it really is a key element and there is the personality that plays an even higher role.
For me, I put my business life ahead of every thing else. I know this doesn't work for some people but it's the path I've chosen and I don't want anyone trying to change that, it's my decision what I do with my life. I think I could do more good for the world with my career than selfishly enjoying a relationship that would ultimately end up no where, leaving me with nothing. 50% of all marriages fail and that is because it requires the dedication of both people. Overtime the lesson I've learned the strongest is, take the positive things that are offered but never depend on other people, only count on yourself.
It would be highly unlikely that I could find someone who was not a disadvantage to me in the long run and felt mutual love for me. Honestly I would need someone who was career oriented but was affectionate and loyal. Also besides looking decent they would need to be honest, intelligent and have a very slow temper. I don't want to put up with a dramaqueen who freaks out over the smallest things and argues and lies. That would never last.
Maybe I'm being too picky but you have to remember that I'm going to spend the rest of my life with this person so it really should be the right one. Just picking someone 'because I have to have someone' really isn't smart. I'd rather be by myself than end up getting into a condemned relationship.
Mon May 01, 2006 6:44 pm
What is love? Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more...
Mon May 01, 2006 7:13 pm
Paul wrote:Igg wrote:Paul wrote:Maybe, but how can someone be in love when they're already thinking of a time without that person?
So you can't be in love with someone who has a couple of years to live?
I, John Smith, take you Mary Sue, to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.
But someone ending the relationship is wordly different from someone dying due to an illness.
That's not what you said. You sai dhow can someone be in love with someone while thinking of a time without that person? If they die, you're without them. Silly.
So, you don't think you can be in love with someone, and the relationship be ended by either party? What if you're in love with someone and they end the relationship? I believe you can be in love with someone for a time, and then not be. Things change. *shrugs*
Mon May 01, 2006 7:18 pm
The problem with sosiety today is people are too quick to run away after the love stops instead of trying to work out what happened and fix it. It might seem for a time that the love has gone, but if you actually work through it again it will come back.
Mon May 01, 2006 7:22 pm
Anoohilator wrote:What is love? Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more...
Anoohilator, you're my new favorite.
*does the Roxbury dance*
Mon May 01, 2006 7:24 pm
Too many marriages end over petty things such as finances and differing opinions. If you truly love someone you won't care whether that person never gave you the world or doesn't share your political views.
I believe marriage is the most important decision you'll make in life and if you finally decide to marry someone don't do it because you feel obligated to them, don't do it because you don't want to hurt their feelings, don't do it with the thought in the back of your head that says "if it doesn't work out we can always get a divorce". Get married because you truly, truly want to spend the rest of your life with that person.
In my opinion a promise is the most binding thing you can give to a person. Don't promise things that you aren't 100% sure you can keep; wedding vows are not an exception.
When you promise "until death do us part" make sure that actually means something, make sure you can keep that promise. Make sure the person you're marrying feels the same way, and if they don't then it's best not to give yourself to someone who can't make the same commitment you are making.
If you can't see yourself living the rest of your life with one person you don't belong getting married. Marriage is not a game, it's not something that should just be thrown away over "irreconcilable differences". Marriage is for life.
I believe marriage is the most important decision you'll make in life and if you finally decide to marry someone don't do it because you feel obligated to them, don't do it because you don't want to hurt their feelings, don't do it with the thought in the back of your head that says "if it doesn't work out we can always get a divorce". Get married because you truly, truly want to spend the rest of your life with that person.
In my opinion a promise is the most binding thing you can give to a person. Don't promise things that you aren't 100% sure you can keep; wedding vows are not an exception.
When you promise "until death do us part" make sure that actually means something, make sure you can keep that promise. Make sure the person you're marrying feels the same way, and if they don't then it's best not to give yourself to someone who can't make the same commitment you are making.
If you can't see yourself living the rest of your life with one person you don't belong getting married. Marriage is not a game, it's not something that should just be thrown away over "irreconcilable differences". Marriage is for life.
Mon May 01, 2006 7:41 pm
Igg wrote:Paul wrote:Igg wrote:Paul wrote:Maybe, but how can someone be in love when they're already thinking of a time without that person?
So you can't be in love with someone who has a couple of years to live?
I, John Smith, take you Mary Sue, to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.
But someone ending the relationship is wordly different from someone dying due to an illness.
That's not what you said. You sai dhow can someone be in love with someone while thinking of a time without that person? If they die, you're without them. Silly.
So, you don't think you can be in love with someone, and the relationship be ended by either party? What if you're in love with someone and they end the relationship? I believe you can be in love with someone for a time, and then not be. Things change. *shrugs*
I know, I know. You've stumped me for discussion, Igg, ah well. I'd need to revise my initial statements.
Mon May 01, 2006 9:09 pm
Once you've found someone you really want to be with, it's not so hard to spend your whole life with them. Think of it as a very best friend that is with you always. 
Tim and I will have been together for ten years this September. When we met, we liked each other from the start. We met at chorus practice in college and I also liked this cute guy with long hair that was trying out and Tim liked this other girl with a bigger chest. lol We stuck to each other, though. I thought he was really dorky, but he was cute like a puppy dog and he didn't think a girl like me would go out with him. haha We talked and he walked me to my car and that's that. There weren't violins playing or fireworks or any of that. It was more of a "Oh, so there you are" feeling, like we found our other half and just moved on from there.
We have fights, as my friends know, and they can get pretty bad. We've been through a lot of very tough times, but they've made us stronger. We've also had very excellent times and the thought of being without him, even after all we've been through, breaks my heart. It's bad enough that he has to leave from 7:30am - 6pm every week day to go to work. haha Every morning I ask him to stay home. XD Then we call each other up throughout the day whenever something happens that we want to share or when we just miss the other one. We can't even stand being apart at home. lol When one of us is obviously doing something else and the other isn't getting enough attention, we'll seek the busy one out and suddenly need to interact with them until we get attention. This can get bothersome at times, but it is sweet.
We know each other better than anyone else ever will. We have vastly different religions and we were brought up with different political ideas as well. Our families have different morals and different ideas of what "family" is and such, but in spite of all that, we can't imagine being with anyone else. When you are in a relationship you should compromise, but know where you stand. If there is something really big you don't want to compromise on, make that clear off the bat. Don't mislead someone just because you think it'll make them like you better. Also, don't say things even in an arguement you don't mean just to prove your point or hurt the other person because they might not forget. Don't end anything badly either. No matter how bad things get, we try to always make the situation at least decent before we go to bed or someone has to go somewhere, etc. Anything could happen at any time and you don't want your last words to be harsh ones.
Even when we're being stubborn and upset, we know we can make the other person laugh or at least smile if we try hard enough. That can be infuriating at times, as well. It can be very hard to be mad at someone when they know what you find funny. I frequently have to tell Tim, "Just because I'm laughing, it doesn't mean I'm not still mad at you." lol
It's hard to believe it's been ten years already. The girls are getting older as well. Morgan is 8, Jasmine is almost 7, Robin is 4 1/2, and Gwen is 3. Time sure flies fast. lol It's so weird to think it's been so long because it doesn't seem like it at all. When you find someone you want to be with, you won't even notice the time go by. We don't even think about "I can imagine being old with you." It's more like "I can't wait to be with you again tomorrow." ^.^
Tim and I will have been together for ten years this September. When we met, we liked each other from the start. We met at chorus practice in college and I also liked this cute guy with long hair that was trying out and Tim liked this other girl with a bigger chest. lol We stuck to each other, though. I thought he was really dorky, but he was cute like a puppy dog and he didn't think a girl like me would go out with him. haha We talked and he walked me to my car and that's that. There weren't violins playing or fireworks or any of that. It was more of a "Oh, so there you are" feeling, like we found our other half and just moved on from there.
We have fights, as my friends know, and they can get pretty bad. We've been through a lot of very tough times, but they've made us stronger. We've also had very excellent times and the thought of being without him, even after all we've been through, breaks my heart. It's bad enough that he has to leave from 7:30am - 6pm every week day to go to work. haha Every morning I ask him to stay home. XD Then we call each other up throughout the day whenever something happens that we want to share or when we just miss the other one. We can't even stand being apart at home. lol When one of us is obviously doing something else and the other isn't getting enough attention, we'll seek the busy one out and suddenly need to interact with them until we get attention. This can get bothersome at times, but it is sweet.
We know each other better than anyone else ever will. We have vastly different religions and we were brought up with different political ideas as well. Our families have different morals and different ideas of what "family" is and such, but in spite of all that, we can't imagine being with anyone else. When you are in a relationship you should compromise, but know where you stand. If there is something really big you don't want to compromise on, make that clear off the bat. Don't mislead someone just because you think it'll make them like you better. Also, don't say things even in an arguement you don't mean just to prove your point or hurt the other person because they might not forget. Don't end anything badly either. No matter how bad things get, we try to always make the situation at least decent before we go to bed or someone has to go somewhere, etc. Anything could happen at any time and you don't want your last words to be harsh ones.
Even when we're being stubborn and upset, we know we can make the other person laugh or at least smile if we try hard enough. That can be infuriating at times, as well.
It can be very hard to be mad at someone when they know what you find funny. I frequently have to tell Tim, "Just because I'm laughing, it doesn't mean I'm not still mad at you." lol
It's hard to believe it's been ten years already. The girls are getting older as well. Morgan is 8, Jasmine is almost 7, Robin is 4 1/2, and Gwen is 3. Time sure flies fast. lol It's so weird to think it's been so long because it doesn't seem like it at all. When you find someone you want to be with, you won't even notice the time go by. We don't even think about "I can imagine being old with you." It's more like "I can't wait to be with you again tomorrow." ^.^