Confession (ala TDG)

[TDG]

In light of another recent confession, I thought I'd share something about me.

As you may know, I've called myself a Kiwi or New Zealander for a long time, but the truth is, I'm not. I'm a Spartan.

I know I shouldn't have lied about this, but the truth is, I was discriminated against hugely at the forum I frequented prior to PPT for being a Spartan. Ignorant fools would say stuff like "No! I'm Spartacus!", not knowing the difference. People mocked and humiliated me and I feel like crap everyday I was there.

Here, however, its different. I feel that I can finely step proudly out into the sunshine and yell

I'm a Spartan!

[theonlysaneone]

I have a confession to make too.

You guys probably know me as an insane Texan, a crazy Battledomer, or a militant conservative, but the truth is, I'm also a Spartan. The recent movie 300 has inspired me to "come out of the chariot" and admit my Spartanity to the world. May others do the same.

I'm a Spartan!

[Inexistence]

I am the same.

I'm a martian! Err.. Spartan!

[Anoohilator]

I'm coming out! I want the world to know, I want to let it show!

Yaaay I can finally admit to being a spartan without fear of discrimination! You guys are awesome!!

[Christopher]

It looks like the jig is up really. Not that we jig much in Sparta. I too have spent these long years calling myself a New Zealander or 'Kiwi' just like the_dog_god, but the truth is it's all a lie. I too, am Spartan. The country of New Zealand doesn't even exist. It's an old Spartan in-joke that got way out of hand.

TDGs guilt for lying is unSpartan, but understandable. We have all had to repress our ways and our morals for so long we might even sometimes forget the stealin killin Spartans we be. I remember the old days when it used to be Artemisios fools day, and we would shove a live wolf through someones bedroom window - we'd all have a good laugh whether or not he survived. I remember the time Acrotatus tossed that Helot almost 4 akaina down a gorge. Those good old days are past, but now perhaps we can live our lives once more.

SPAAAAAAAAAARRTAAAAAAAAA!

[Ixist]

Unfortunately, I must confess too. Scotland has always existed, but not as we would have you believe; We are a Spartan stronghold. We don't actually wear kilts; they were just a way to hide our little leather panties, and bagpipes are just a place for us to keep our capes in readiness for battle. Haven't you ever wondered why they sound so goddamn awful?

We tried to keep it a secret, but alas Gerard Butler gave it away with his constant screaming " THIS IS SPARTAAAAAAAAA!!!!!". We ended up having to lobotomise him. It's not all bad though... this means that we can finally come out now and not have to wear these stifiling clothes.

So I will now tell the truth; I am a Spartan, and THIS IS SPARTAAAAA!!!!

Actually that would make a good travel slogan.
'Scotland: This is SPARTAAAAA!'

[shapu]

I'm from Ithaca. Not New York - the mythical lost island (now a peninsula) where Odysseus came from. And I am his son. His youngest, obviously.

The way it works is that Dad was gambling on a tuesday with Chuck Norris and Satan. Chuck had sold his soul to the devil but got it back with a vicious roundhouse kick, and of course Satan thought that was the funniest stuff ever. So they started playing Poker (right after the Trojan War, you know). And when Dad finally got back from the war he took his wife at the time out to dinner at a joint owned by Rachel Ray (an emissary of Satan, you know). So Dad got to talking to Rachel, and Dad joined their poker nights (every third tuesday of the month).

Long story short, Dad won an extra 3000 years on his life in a game of no-limit Hold'Em, and met a nice girl, and so here I am.

Dad looks like crap, by the way. Honestly, 3000 years really is hard on a guy who stopped working out.

[Bangel]

I also have a confession.

I'm Athenian.

SURPRIZELOL.

[CWisgood]

Um. Yeah. Ditto the Spartan thing.

[Kugetsu]

I'd have to agree with all of you, I also was discriminated against because of my being Spartan and also my love for not wearing anything. I would always walk into a restaurant nude and everyone would go "Haha! Hey kids, point and laugh at the silly Spartan guy!" and then realize I was nude and stab their eyes out with the nearest plastic fork.

I've had so many lawsuits against me that I went into hiding the last 7 years. Who are they to tell me that I can't be a Spartan and wear nothing? IF A SPARTAN WANTS TO BE NUDE, LET THEM BE NUDE! I'm sick and tried of the prejudice, and I believe we should begin to fight back!

If you've ever laughed at me because of my Spartaninity, then you will see my popping out of your closet with a group of a few hundred fellow men to cut you down! You hath been warned!

[Uncle Xyzzy]

I'm not a Spartan. I'm a member of the Great Religion (the dogs call it a cult), and I kill people to attain greater rank.

Don't worry, their souls fuse with me and we become one mastuh d00d.

[Xandra]

I'm Amazonian. I'm sorry to all the men I've strung along all this time... But I have found true love in Bangel.

[Uncle Xyzzy]

I'm Amazonian. I'm sorry to all teh men I've strung along all this time... But I have found true love in Bangel.

XANDRA! HOW OULD YOU DO THIS TO OUR RELATIONSHIP!

AND YOU TOO BANGEL! HOW COULD YOU BOTH DO THAT TO ME!

[Bangel]

I'm Amazonian. I'm sorry to all teh men I've strung along all this time... But I have found true love in Bangel.

Honestly, who hasn't?

[Christopher]

I'm Amazonian. I'm sorry to all teh men I've strung along all this time... But I have found true love in Bangel.

Honestly, who hasn't?

Me. *opens you up to have a look for it*