Sun Oct 01, 2006 6:43 pm
I'm really sorry for those who will take it badly, but clearly, most of those who respond never where bullied badly. It's COMPLETLY FALSE that if you ignore the bullier, he will get bored and stop. And it's COMPLETLY FALSE either that you can ignore it and get over it. I'm sorry, but you can't. If it's about one kid once or twice telling you names, and if you have a strong social background to rely on, it's ok. But when it's down to the point people keep following you, treathen and ambush you, you have to react differently.
NEVER accept it. The first thing anyone who is bullied must do is to report it. And if the person you talk about starts on the "grow up and ignore them" thing, go see someone else. Bulliing is not just teasing, it's much more deeper and need to be cared about. Find someone who has a position of authority AND understand what really happens. If needed, someone who get bullied can make a kind of journal of the attacks he endures, from the big ambushs and beating if it happens, to the small insinuing comments he hears constantly about him. This can be a main tool to get people understand what his life is. No one can endure such constant insults without suffering deeply, and many people who works with kids regretably don't understand what bulliing is.
To report the attacks is necessary. Those kids who bully others must be cared about, their parents must be informed that their kids are bullies, they must understand themselves that they can AND they will be punished for it. People care more and more about harrasement, at work or anywhere, in the adult world. But many people still think that this is ok from a kid, kids are just that way, it's a normal way to learn how social relations works. Bullsh*t. NO ONE should endure it, and kids less than anyone. AND, other kids must learn from the start that attacking other for the sake of it is NOT ok. But that's not your point as the one bullied.
To fight back can help, when it comes to physical violence. But that will never be the main way to get out of it. Do not let them abuse you without reacting, but do not provoke fights either. You need to find another wat to get out of this cercle.
Mainly, you need to find a niche somewhere, wher people respects you and appreciate you. I highly suggest that you find an activity, preferably outside of the school if you have so much problems with school people. Become a scout, play soccer, learn clarinet in a small band, collect stamps in a local association, become a premium reporter for the studient newspaper, anything you like. Anyone needs to be considered, espacially when they are young. Take it from someone who missed it sorely, and still fight to develop normal social relations as an adult. You will never be able to get over such bulliing if you don't know that somewhere, there are people you can count on. Social interacts are something you must learn, and some people have it easy, and some other don't. But it's always possible to find real friends, if you give yourself the chance to get to them. Bulliers attack people who are vulnerable to them. If you are depressed and lonely, you are an easy target. Having a satisfaying life somewhere, with people you like and who likes you, even as remote as they may seems at first, is a big help to make yourself untouchable.
I don't know what exactly is your situation, if you have some real friends somewhere, if your parents knows about it, etc. But mainly, this is how you will be able to get out of the bulliing circle you are on. Never accept it is the first rule. Find other ways to get recognition you need, and by that mean, prevent them from depriving you from your own life is the second.
It may seem hard. It is. But it is possible to get out. Become the person you want to, not the one they want you to be. As time pass, it will become easier, and you will realise that YOU where worth it.
ps: by the way, I LOVE red hairs!!
NEVER accept it. The first thing anyone who is bullied must do is to report it. And if the person you talk about starts on the "grow up and ignore them" thing, go see someone else. Bulliing is not just teasing, it's much more deeper and need to be cared about. Find someone who has a position of authority AND understand what really happens. If needed, someone who get bullied can make a kind of journal of the attacks he endures, from the big ambushs and beating if it happens, to the small insinuing comments he hears constantly about him. This can be a main tool to get people understand what his life is. No one can endure such constant insults without suffering deeply, and many people who works with kids regretably don't understand what bulliing is.
To report the attacks is necessary. Those kids who bully others must be cared about, their parents must be informed that their kids are bullies, they must understand themselves that they can AND they will be punished for it. People care more and more about harrasement, at work or anywhere, in the adult world. But many people still think that this is ok from a kid, kids are just that way, it's a normal way to learn how social relations works. Bullsh*t. NO ONE should endure it, and kids less than anyone. AND, other kids must learn from the start that attacking other for the sake of it is NOT ok. But that's not your point as the one bullied.
To fight back can help, when it comes to physical violence. But that will never be the main way to get out of it. Do not let them abuse you without reacting, but do not provoke fights either. You need to find another wat to get out of this cercle.
Mainly, you need to find a niche somewhere, wher people respects you and appreciate you. I highly suggest that you find an activity, preferably outside of the school if you have so much problems with school people. Become a scout, play soccer, learn clarinet in a small band, collect stamps in a local association, become a premium reporter for the studient newspaper, anything you like. Anyone needs to be considered, espacially when they are young. Take it from someone who missed it sorely, and still fight to develop normal social relations as an adult. You will never be able to get over such bulliing if you don't know that somewhere, there are people you can count on. Social interacts are something you must learn, and some people have it easy, and some other don't. But it's always possible to find real friends, if you give yourself the chance to get to them. Bulliers attack people who are vulnerable to them. If you are depressed and lonely, you are an easy target. Having a satisfaying life somewhere, with people you like and who likes you, even as remote as they may seems at first, is a big help to make yourself untouchable.
I don't know what exactly is your situation, if you have some real friends somewhere, if your parents knows about it, etc. But mainly, this is how you will be able to get out of the bulliing circle you are on. Never accept it is the first rule. Find other ways to get recognition you need, and by that mean, prevent them from depriving you from your own life is the second.
It may seem hard. It is. But it is possible to get out. Become the person you want to, not the one they want you to be. As time pass, it will become easier, and you will realise that YOU where worth it.
ps: by the way, I LOVE red hairs!!
Sun Oct 01, 2006 7:23 pm
Just because something didn't work for you doesn't mean it won't work for others. Do NOT assume things about other people's lives; you have no idea how hard some people's lives are, and don't tell them "OMG YOU'VE NEVER BEEN BULLIED BADLY." You have no idea just how bad some of these people HAVE been.
Sun Oct 01, 2006 7:34 pm
Kyra wrote:Just because something didn't work for you doesn't mean it won't work for others. Do NOT assume things about other people's lives; you have no idea how hard some people's lives are, and don't tell them "OMG YOU'VE NEVER BEEN BULLIED BADLY." You have no idea just how bad some of these people HAVE been.
Exactly. Moihaha, though you made some good point, you are making big assumptions about other people who have posted here. And nobody, but NOBODY told Ginger that she should accept bullying. OK? Several of us told her that at the moment she is accepting it, which is half the battle.
Sun Oct 01, 2006 8:47 pm
Being of the ginger clan, I have indeed endured quite a number of years of what I call ginger-prejudice.
Even though there's an absolute ton of red-heads in Scotland (highest percentage population in the world, approximately 13%), cos that's one of the places we pretty much originated from, there's still a stigma that people feel they need to have a wee poke at the wee ginger in the corner. In fact, I believe it has somehow leaked into the British psyche.
Magazines generally don't paint a very elegant picture of red-heads, and goodness knows why.
I don't get the ridicule any more because I don't go near the people that would do that to me.
I can't tell you what would be the best thing to do in your situation. All I did was stick it out and get some mates that were worth it that helped support me, and have a moan and stuff to my parents. I took it on the chin and told them 'whatever' or just laughed with them. Yes, some of the names are particularly nasty and vulgar, but unfortunately that's what people do that have their own insecurities. You need to find the way to deal with it that you are most comfortable with.
If you're really getting bullied, talking to a teacher, parent or friend who's an adult might be able to give you better advice that is more in tune with what's happening at the time.
Even though there's an absolute ton of red-heads in Scotland (highest percentage population in the world, approximately 13%), cos that's one of the places we pretty much originated from, there's still a stigma that people feel they need to have a wee poke at the wee ginger in the corner. In fact, I believe it has somehow leaked into the British psyche.
Magazines generally don't paint a very elegant picture of red-heads, and goodness knows why.
I don't get the ridicule any more because I don't go near the people that would do that to me.
I can't tell you what would be the best thing to do in your situation. All I did was stick it out and get some mates that were worth it that helped support me, and have a moan and stuff to my parents. I took it on the chin and told them 'whatever' or just laughed with them. Yes, some of the names are particularly nasty and vulgar, but unfortunately that's what people do that have their own insecurities. You need to find the way to deal with it that you are most comfortable with.
If you're really getting bullied, talking to a teacher, parent or friend who's an adult might be able to give you better advice that is more in tune with what's happening at the time.
Sun Oct 01, 2006 10:00 pm
I'm not being bullied right now. I WAS bullied severely at school and I'm still teased a little bit but not right now. I don't agree at all with the statements about ignoring them will make them go. I ignored them. Instead of them getting bored they took this as a sign that I was too weak to stick up for myself, so they bullied me further. When I retaliated (which wasn't often) they would gang up on me and beat me up. I was in a no win situation. I told teachers about this, even had my mom into the school. They said they'd do something about it but they never did do anything, so I just had to keep enduring it. I know that some of you had probably had it tougher than me but ignoring them might work for other people, but it didn't work for me. I also have Asperger Syndrome and bullies seem to know these sort of things. They realise when they have a weak target. I could do nothing to defend myself.
Thank you to all those who offered support. To the one who posted about the livejournal, I'd like to tell you something. This is a forum. People post things. Other people post rants and I do use my livejournal sometimes, but I have the right to choose what to put into my journal and what to put here. Thank you.
Thank you to all those who offered support. To the one who posted about the livejournal, I'd like to tell you something. This is a forum. People post things. Other people post rants and I do use my livejournal sometimes, but I have the right to choose what to put into my journal and what to put here. Thank you.
Sun Oct 01, 2006 10:14 pm
moihaha wrote:I'm really sorry for those who will take it badly, but clearly, most of those who respond never where bullied badly. It's COMPLETLY FALSE that if you ignore the bullier, he will get bored and stop. And it's COMPLETLY FALSE either that you can ignore it and get over it. I'm sorry, but you can't. If it's about one kid once or twice telling you names, and if you have a strong social background to rely on, it's ok. But when it's down to the point people keep following you, treathen and ambush you, you have to react differently.
I think it's COMPLETELY FALSE that you know anything about anyone's personal sitaution.
Do not assume that just because people were able to get through bullying by simply ignoring the bullies, that they were not bullied badly. Because that would be COMPLETELY FALSE.
Sun Oct 01, 2006 10:45 pm
moihaha wrote:I'm really sorry for those who will take it badly, but clearly, most of those who respond never where bullied badly. It's COMPLETLY FALSE that if you ignore the bullier, he will get bored and stop. And it's COMPLETLY FALSE either that you can ignore it and get over it. I'm sorry, but you can't. If it's about one kid once or twice telling you names, and if you have a strong social background to rely on, it's ok. But when it's down to the point people keep following you, treathen and ambush you, you have to react differently.
Sometimes that can be true, but not in every situation. I used to get bullied/teased and I ignored it, and the guys who were doing the teasing thought that since I didn't respond to it, I was accepting it. Of course, it depends on the person who is bullying.
Mon Oct 02, 2006 2:08 am
Igg wrote:Setekh wrote:To clarify.
I'm in a bit of an angsty mood right now for reasons I cannot go into.
I'm sorry for being such a pratt today, and I would like to apologise.
However, sometimes the only thing you can do is fight back.
Whoever said "ignore them and they'll go away" was never bullied badly.
both of my siblings were bullied and they fought back.
I did not.
Care to guess which one of the three of us is stuck at home, afraid to get a job and wishing he had the courage?
I don't think ignoring them makes them go away, but if you can truely ignore them and rise above it, then it won't matter to you anymore.
Easier said than done I'm afraid.
But the one thing that was worse than the bullying, the one thing that goes beyond the taunts and insults and abuse, One thing that goes above the council trying to take me away and sue my parents?
The abuse I receive from people that is meant to spare my feelings.
the "I didn't tell you because I didnt think you would stick around" excuses.
Above all other things I hurt because of those.
You have never been one to stand aside from a debate to spare my feelings and so I thankyou.
And Ginger, it doesn't matter "how badly" you were bullied.
You were bullied and it affected you aversely and so matters greatly.
Never let anyone tell you otherwise.
Just because I reacted in a "worse" way than you did to the bullying (I'm a foul mouthed mistrusting agorophobe now) doesn't mean it was any worse than what you had to endure.
Mon Oct 02, 2006 3:23 am
Kyra wrote:I find it odd that I, of all people, have not been bullied about my hair. Makes no sense. >_>
That's 'cause everyone knows if they started bullying you you'd kill them and hide their body so well that the only people to find it would be archaeologists thousands of years from now.
Kyra is my awesome mohawked hero.
Mon Oct 02, 2006 3:35 am
moihaha wrote:To report the attacks is necessary. Those kids who bully others must be cared about, their parents must be informed that their kids are bullies, they must understand themselves that they can AND they will be punished for it....other kids must learn from the start that attacking other for the sake of it is NOT ok.
I'd like to make the point that most kids who bully are themselves bullied. That's how it works: one kid picks on another, who picks on a third kid, who picks on some other kid, and so forth. Very rarely is a kid really a bully. Usually he or she is just following the chain. A lot of kids fall into this without ever realizing it. You don't see that your comment is hurtful, you just want the other kids to laugh. And I'm not pointing fingers, because I don't have enough to point at all the people this next line covers, but pretty much everyone has teased someone else to the point where that person got hurt. That's how bullying goes. Sometimes you have people that pick you out, but usually it's just a random selection, an "at whose expense do I make this joke?" sort of thing.
Mon Oct 02, 2006 4:19 pm
I might just start posting pictures of foxy redheads now.
Last edited by Igg on Mon Oct 02, 2006 4:37 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Mon Oct 02, 2006 4:35 pm
Don't forget Conan.
Mon Oct 02, 2006 5:36 pm
And the Lohan!
Mon Oct 02, 2006 10:11 pm
David Caruso is teh hottest of them all though.
Mon Oct 02, 2006 11:42 pm
Um. You all forgot the hottest redheads ever.
Weasleys! =D
(I'm sad; I couldn't find a good picture of all of them. If someone has a good Weasley family pic, post it and I shall be forever grateful. )
Alicia Witt (cool piece of trivia- her mom is the woman who holds the record for longest hair)
Isla Fisher
Weasleys! =D
(I'm sad; I couldn't find a good picture of all of them. If someone has a good Weasley family pic, post it and I shall be forever grateful.
)
Alicia Witt (cool piece of trivia- her mom is the woman who holds the record for longest hair)
Isla Fisher
Last edited by Xandra on Tue Oct 03, 2006 3:53 am, edited 2 times in total.