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Quotes

Thu Aug 18, 2005 10:41 pm

What are your fave quotes from movies/tv shows? (This is the second "list" thread I've done today, I'm starting to feel like a Channel 4 "100 Greatest PPT Threads" programme hosted by Jimmy Carr)

Mine include -

German: Good evening. I am Oberleutnant von Gerhardt. I have a message from the Baron von Richthoven, the greatest living German.

Blackadder: Which, considering that his competition consists entirely of very fat men in leather shorts burping to the tune of `She'll Be Coming Round The Mountain', is no great achievement.

From Blackadder... No offence meant to any Germans in, but it is very funny.

Galadriel: Not all those who wander are lost.

From Lord of The Rings.

Bernard: *holds up a sausage* Up with this I will not put.

From Black Books.

Pretty lame selection, but enough to get the ball rolling.

Thu Aug 18, 2005 11:05 pm

Ah, well,

From Reba,

Brock: Man, where does the time go?
Barbra-Jean: But more importantly, where does it come from?

From X-Men,

Wolverine: A war is coming, are you sure you're on the right side?

From Friends,

Ross --Talking about his 50 year old lover-- : She didn't photograph well!
Chandler: Oh, she must've not been familiar with the process due to her many years of sitting for OIL PAINTINGS.

From Everybody Loves Raymond,

Raymond to Debra: Our love is as deep as the ocean.
Marie: Frank, why can't you say things like that to me?
Frank: Okay, I wish you were in the ocean.

Thu Aug 18, 2005 11:42 pm

From Star Wars: A New Hope
Obiwan Kenobi: "Who's the more foolish, the fool or the fool who follows him?"

That's been my personal favorite for a very, very long time.

Fri Aug 19, 2005 12:36 am

I'll post some of my favorite Simpsons ones I can think of here:

Burns: Simpson, eh? New man?
Smithers: He thwarted your campaign for governor, you ran over his son, he saved the plant from meltdown, his wife painted you in the nude...
Burns: Doesn't ring a bell.


Chief Wiggum: The legendary Esquilax, a horse with the head of a rabbit, and.... the BODY of a rabbit!


Hans Moleman: You took four minutes of my life and I want them back. Oh I'd only waste them anyway.


Homer: Whaddya have to was that awful taste outta my mouth?
Guy: Mountain Dew or Crab Juice?
Homer: Blugh oh geez!... I'll take the crab juice


Announcer: And now, back to Mr. McGrew's Christmas Carol.
Homer: Mr. McGrew? I love that blind senile old man!
Abe: I can't find my way back to the home!
Homer: I heard you the first five times!


Lou Ellen: Hello! I am Lou Ellen St Claire. I've directed three plays in my career, and I've had three heart attacks. That's how much I care, I'm planning for a fourth.


<3 Simpsons

Fri Aug 19, 2005 2:07 am

The Matrix: There is no spoon.

In context, it and the rest of the movie are totally lame. But out of context it makes for one heck of a good t-shirt!

Fri Aug 19, 2005 4:23 am

(Black Books)

Bernard: I've never said it before because I'm too nice, but your son has the cold, dead eyes of a killer

Manny: I've swallowed the Little Book of Calm.

Fri Aug 19, 2005 9:07 am

<3 Black Books for quoteage.

One of my favourite Simpsons bits is Carl's 'Just because I'm African-American doesn't mean I have to be good at basketball' or whatever :P

Fri Aug 19, 2005 9:26 am

I have 100s of Simpsons quotes that I adore, my friends at Uni and I used to basically have entire conversations consisting entirely of Simpsons quote :P

"Hello, I'm Mr. Plow. Are you tired of having your hands cut off by snow-blowers, and the inevitable heart attacks that come with shoveling snow?"
-Homer

"The story you are about to hear is true, and by true I mean false. It's lies, all of it. But they are entertaining lies, and in the end isn't that what's important? The answer is no."
-Leonard Nimoy

"They have the Internet on computers now?"
-Homer

"Me fail English? That's unpossible!"
-Ralph

"The most rewarding part was when he gave me my money!"
-Dr. Nick

"Stolen funds? Pothole money used for swimming pool!? There's no emoticon for what I'm feeling!"
-Comic Book Guy

Homer: "Computer, kill Flanders!"
Ned: "Did I hear my name? My ears are burnin'!"
Homer: "Good start - now finish the job!"

I could go on forever :)

I also love any quote from Blackadder:

"Baldrick, you wouldn't recognise a cunning plan if it painted itself purple and danced naked on top of a harpsichord singing 'Cunning plans are here again'."
- Blackadder

Edmund BlackAdder: Well, you could appoint him a high-court judge.
Prince George: Is he qualified?
Edmund BlackAdder: He's a violent, bigoted, mindless old fool.
Prince George: Sounds a bit overqualified.

Ah, brilliant!

Fri Aug 19, 2005 12:59 pm

Igg wrote:<3 Black Books for quoteage.

One of my favourite Simpsons bits is Carl's 'Just because I'm African-American doesn't mean I have to be good at basketball' or whatever :P


Carl: I am so sick of everyone assuming I'm good at basketball because I'm African-American. :slam dunks: Go Carl! Go Carl! It's my birthday! It's my birthday! Three-P! You got maaail, baby!

That? :P

Fri Aug 19, 2005 2:54 pm

Aye. I'm can usually quote them verbatim but eh...

Fri Aug 19, 2005 9:05 pm

Merlin -

Morgan: Am I still beautiful?
Frick: Beyond words.

AWW

Sat Aug 20, 2005 12:50 am

If you were talking radio, I have a bunch from RadioU. Guess I'll be doing stuff from Ten Most Wanted instead.

TMW - all said by the host Obadiah, unless said different:

"DM was on fire!...that's not a name, Greenville, South Carolina...OK, that IS a place." (yus, he truly said that. ^^)
"I want to go home this century!"
"There's a lot of me to miss."
"Hey, you're Olivia the Band! What are you doing with Joel Osteen?!"

Aww...I thought I had more. I'll have to check my Works document. Also...expect many quotes from me from A Different World.

Sat Aug 20, 2005 1:56 am

Buffy quotage!

'Actually, I do have a date. Older man. Very handsome. He likes it when I call him "Daddy".'- Buffy (speaking about a visit with her father)

'She just left. She didn't even care enough to cut off my head or set me on fire. I mean, is that too much to ask? You know? Some little sign that she cared?'- Spike

'Now go on out there, lie like dogs, and have a wonderful time.'- Giles

'To commemorate a past event, you kill and eat an animal. It's a ritual sacrifice, with pie.'- Anya

'Tell you what I'll do then. I'll head out, find this girl, tell her exactly where you are and then watch as she kills you.'- Spike

'Don't you watch television? I thought all children despise effort and enjoy cartoons.'- Anya

'The Council is not welcome here. I have no time for orders. If I need someone to scream like a woman I'll give you a call.'- Buffy

'Hey, uh, Evil Dead, you're in my seat.'- Xander

'It's devastating. He's turned into a sixteen-year-old boy. Course, you'll have to kill him.'- Giles

'Oh, that's Oz. He's expressing computer nerd solidarity.'- Willow

'This is normal teen stuff. You join chat rooms, you write poetry, you post Doogie Howser fan-fic.'- Willow

'You know, I started it. The whole having a soul. Before it was all the cool new thing.'- Angel

'Buff, I'm storming off. It doesn't really work if you come with me.'- Willow

'So, I'm wondering, do the other cookie animals feel sorta ripped? Like, is the hippo going, 'Hey, man, where are my pants? I have my hippo dignity!' And you know the monkey's just,'I mock you with my monkey pants!''- Oz

'You will all be turned into vermin. And some of you will be fish! Yeah, you in the back will be fish!'- Buffy

'Well, yeah, I would give anything to be able to turn invisible. Well, I wouldn't use my powers to beat people up, but I'd use my powers to protect the girls' locker room.'- Xander

'I realize that every Slayer comes with an expiration mark on the package. But I want mine to be a long time from now. Like a Cheeto.'- Buffy

'That'll put marzipan in your pie plate, bingo!'- Buffybot

'Well, I'm not dead or unconscious, so I say bravo for me.'- Giles

'I went to Snoopy On Ice when I was little. My dad took me backstage and I got so scared I threw up on Woodstock.'- Willow

'I still can't believe it. We did it! We can do anything. We could stay up all night if we want to.'- Andrew

'I have heard a few complaints over the years, but then I just killed whoever spoke up, and that was pretty much that.'- Spike

Tue Aug 23, 2005 6:23 am

Pulp Fiction for the win!

"You know what they call a Quarter Pounder in France?"

Tue Aug 23, 2005 7:18 am

My favourite Black Books quote:

Manny: Do you think I should wash my beard?

Bernard: I think you should, yeah. You should wash your beard, then shave it off, nail it to a Frisbee and fling it over a rainbow.
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