Movie Reviews

[Byakuya San]

So on Friday, I opened up the movies section of my paper and was browsing down the list of movie openings and their ratings. When I got to "Bratz" I was thoroughly shocked to see that it had managed to be given no stars. I think that's the first time I've ever seen a review that bad!

Anyways, the point of this thread is to post any funny/scathing/bizarre movie reviews you've seen or read. Last year, my paper's review of "Barnyard" included the wonderful line "I think I'd rather stick rusty railroad spikes through my eyes then watch another CGI movie about talking animals." So, if you think you can do better, post away!

[Mongrel]

When I got to "Bratz" I was thoroughly shocked to see that it had managed to be given no stars. I think that's the first time I've ever seen a review that bad!

That gives me hope for humanity.

[Asthaloth]

When I got to "Bratz" I was thoroughly shocked to see that it had managed to be given no stars. I think that's the first time I've ever seen a review that bad!

That gives me hope for humanity.

Go to the toy store and check out the toys.

You'll be murderous rampage, I garuntee it.
(Bratz Babies. Nuff said)

And I think the Yu Gi Oh movie got 0 stars (average) as well.

[Byakuya San]

When I got to "Bratz" I was thoroughly shocked to see that it had managed to be given no stars. I think that's the first time I've ever seen a review that bad!

That gives me hope for humanity.

Go to the toy store and check out the toys.

You'll be murderous rampage, I garuntee it.
(Bratz Babies. Nuff said)

And I think the Yu Gi Oh movie got 0 stars (average) as well.

The guy who reviewed Bratz in my paper said his daughter found it creepy how you take off the dolls' feet instead of just their shoes. Sounds bad enough already.

[Mongrel]

I've heard that Bratz dolls wear thongs. That's far worse than taking off feet, in my book, but I've never been close enough to one to find out for sure if it's true.

[Fiddelysquat]

It is. A friend's little sister has them.

Anyway, I usually turn to Mr. Cranky for hilarious movie reviews, but he's got a very foul mouth so I won't be linking to him.

[3lla]

It is. A friend's little sister has them.

Anyway, I usually turn to Mr. Cranky for hilarious movie reviews, but he's got a very foul mouth so I won't be linking to him.

mr cranky is awesome. Undeniable.

[theonlysaneone]

I've heard that Bratz dolls wear thongs. That's far worse than taking off feet, in my book, but I've never been close enough to one to find out for sure if it's true.

OMG! Girl dolls are wearing clothes that girls wear!

My newspaper sufficiently owned this movie: http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/ent ... 90486.html

EDIT: This got 9% on Rotten Tomatoes. This could be the new Manos: The Hands of Fate.

[3lla]

saw oceans 13 the other night.
I thought is was a good way to end the trilogy, in style with no fancy action gimmicks to distract you or anything. Just a classic way to steal cash from some billionaire who doesnt need it.

[Igg]

It is. A friend's little sister has them.

Anyway, I usually turn to Mr. Cranky for hilarious movie reviews, but he's got a very foul mouth so I won't be linking to him.

Yeah, I have one, we put the feet on backwards.

I have one because my friend/Gay Husband Andy gave me it for my 18th birthday because he is A GIT.

[Byakuya San]

My newspaper sufficiently owned this movie: http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/ent ... 90486.html

It also sufficiently owned my newspaper.

[theonlysaneone]

My newspaper sufficiently owned this movie: http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/ent ... 90486.html

It also sufficiently owned my newspaper.

?

I usually hate that newspaper, what with its defending child molesters and the Hurricane Rita insanity. We've even stopped subscribing to it. I saw that review on Rotten Tomatoes and lol'd.

[Mongrel]

I've heard that Bratz dolls wear thongs. That's far worse than taking off feet, in my book, but I've never been close enough to one to find out for sure if it's true.

OMG! Girl dolls are wearing clothes that girls wear!

That's just the thing. GIRLS do not wear them. I find the idea of 13-year-olds wearing thongs a bit disturbing. (Actually, I find the whole idea of thongs icky, but that's really not the point.)

[Byakuya San]

My newspaper sufficiently owned this movie: http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/ent ... 90486.html

It also sufficiently owned my newspaper.

?

I just meant that your newspaper's review was better than mine. That is all.

[theonlysaneone]

I've heard that Bratz dolls wear thongs. That's far worse than taking off feet, in my book, but I've never been close enough to one to find out for sure if it's true.

OMG! Girl dolls are wearing clothes that girls wear!

That's just the thing. GIRLS do not wear them. I find the idea of 13-year-olds wearing thongs a bit disturbing. (Actually, I find the whole idea of thongs icky, but that's really not the point.)

Aren't Bratz supposed to be high-school age? I know that high-school age girls wear them, or at least a lot do.