Mon May 01, 2006 9:26 pm
I thought I was in love once. I thought I couldn't live without my ex, and I couldn't be without him, but now, it's been over a year without him, and almost 7 months with my new boyfriend, and now I know, that I am in love with my new one, and my old one can go to...you get the point.
It's funny, a lot of people don't think me and my new boyfriend are in love either, like my ex roommate. She goes around telling people that we are not in love and blah blah blah.
But, we are, and we know it. Yea, sure, we have a couple of fights here and there, but what relationship doesnt? We are with each other all the time, aside from when we are working. We have the same taste in some things. And, we have never got into one of those fights which end up in a breakup, then back together.
We are planning a kid together, and planning our future. He's planning on sending me back to school too, se I can finally get some college under my belt. And, we are slowly making way to getting our own place.
Now, this relationship is so much better then my last.
My last one, I thought it was love, but it wasn't. I lived with the guy, we did the "it", I cooked him meals, and we had the same tight group of friends. The only thing that was bad about the relationship (and I couldn't see it until now, because I was "blinded" by love) was the abuse. I went to school with bruises on me. I was the one working out of me and him (he was a drug dealer, so he didn't think he needed a job), we got into MANY fights and arguements that ended in me crying, and him sleeping on the couch.
And when I came home from work (I worked in a meat processing plant, so I was working 12 hour days), he would want me to go out to a party with him, but I was tired, so I wouldn't go, so he would go, and bash me at these parties.
Then, a horrible time came. I became pregnant with him. I became pregnant with someone who NEVER wishes to be married, and NEVER EVER wants kids, and someone who always kept trying to find ways to get rid of me.
In the end, we got into a VERY large fight. I had an abortion, he was happy, his mom was happy. They both said that I was trying to trap my ex into staying with me (I could've cared less). But, after the abortion, he joined the military (but got accepted into the Navy, the day of my abortion, so he was twice as happy as before), and moved. I don't talk to him anymore, and now I am glad that all that has happened, because if it didn't, I wouldn't have met my new boyfriend (Who I couldn't live a day without), or, if I did stay with my ex, I would probably end up dead from the abuse, or from the emotional abuse and I would've caused harm on myself.
Everyone has their own thought on what love is. There, I just showed you what I thought love was, and the love I have for my new man.
I hope no one in the PPT forums EVER end up in a harmful relationship. It's not good at all.
It's funny, a lot of people don't think me and my new boyfriend are in love either, like my ex roommate. She goes around telling people that we are not in love and blah blah blah.
But, we are, and we know it. Yea, sure, we have a couple of fights here and there, but what relationship doesnt? We are with each other all the time, aside from when we are working. We have the same taste in some things. And, we have never got into one of those fights which end up in a breakup, then back together.
We are planning a kid together, and planning our future. He's planning on sending me back to school too, se I can finally get some college under my belt. And, we are slowly making way to getting our own place.
Now, this relationship is so much better then my last.
My last one, I thought it was love, but it wasn't. I lived with the guy, we did the "it", I cooked him meals, and we had the same tight group of friends. The only thing that was bad about the relationship (and I couldn't see it until now, because I was "blinded" by love) was the abuse. I went to school with bruises on me. I was the one working out of me and him (he was a drug dealer, so he didn't think he needed a job), we got into MANY fights and arguements that ended in me crying, and him sleeping on the couch.
And when I came home from work (I worked in a meat processing plant, so I was working 12 hour days), he would want me to go out to a party with him, but I was tired, so I wouldn't go, so he would go, and bash me at these parties.
Then, a horrible time came. I became pregnant with him. I became pregnant with someone who NEVER wishes to be married, and NEVER EVER wants kids, and someone who always kept trying to find ways to get rid of me.
In the end, we got into a VERY large fight. I had an abortion, he was happy, his mom was happy. They both said that I was trying to trap my ex into staying with me (I could've cared less). But, after the abortion, he joined the military (but got accepted into the Navy, the day of my abortion, so he was twice as happy as before), and moved. I don't talk to him anymore, and now I am glad that all that has happened, because if it didn't, I wouldn't have met my new boyfriend (Who I couldn't live a day without), or, if I did stay with my ex, I would probably end up dead from the abuse, or from the emotional abuse and I would've caused harm on myself.
Everyone has their own thought on what love is. There, I just showed you what I thought love was, and the love I have for my new man.
I hope no one in the PPT forums EVER end up in a harmful relationship. It's not good at all.
Mon May 01, 2006 11:28 pm
I have to say that my experience is somewhat like what Jas wrote. I love the man I'm with right now more than words could ever say. He was one of the first people I met at college orientation. Two months later when college started, I saw him at a band rehearsal and we hung out and ate dinner...and we've been best friends since that day. We had always liked eachother since that day, but one of us was always dating someone else. This past summer was the first time we were both single at the same time and we just kind of realized "you're the one". We live really far apart (New York and Florida), but we make it work. We've randomly talked about the future house, the future wedding, the future kids, and all with complete seriousness, which is refreshing. We're pretty understanding of each other's view points (he's especially good about my religious opinions; his parents might not be, but that's what compromise is for...) He's the one person who has seen me at my lowest points, and helped me climb out of those deep holes. It's just really nice to think that I really am getting on with my life and eventually settling down with the one person I can't stand being without.
Tue May 02, 2006 12:34 am
I find that people of a very romanticised (no pun intended) view of love that may not be realistic. I do think that one can stay with the same person for the rest of their lives, however it's foolish to think that that's how we as a species absolutely operate. One can genuinely love and let go. There is such thing as falling out of love. Besides, love comes in so many different forms. One can still love another but not want to be with them. Human nature is so much more complex than faerietales would like us to believe. We can't hold everyone to the exact same standard because even cross-culturally, ideas of love take different forms. Monogamy is for some people but not for everyone.
Tue May 02, 2006 1:18 am
My mom and dad don't necessarily "love" each other in the way that people think of love. I think passionate, undying love is irrelevant in their marriage. They have a love built on respect for the other person and on a desire to raise their children in a good home.
Love, and marriage, don't have to be about finding your soulmate and thinking "This is the person I'm MEANT to be with." In my parents' case, well, my mom got pregnant accidentally, and tried to leave my dad, but he proved himself to her, proved that he could be serious about raising this kid, and they got married and had four kids altogether. The thing is, they probably wouldn't have stayed together were it not for my mother's pregnancy. Neither of them were looking for anything long-lasting, but circumstances being what they were, they wound up happy anyway.
Maybe they're unconventional, but my parents are still together and part of a functional family. Most of my friends' parents, who are more the "seeking your one true love" type, aren't.
Love, and marriage, don't have to be about finding your soulmate and thinking "This is the person I'm MEANT to be with." In my parents' case, well, my mom got pregnant accidentally, and tried to leave my dad, but he proved himself to her, proved that he could be serious about raising this kid, and they got married and had four kids altogether. The thing is, they probably wouldn't have stayed together were it not for my mother's pregnancy. Neither of them were looking for anything long-lasting, but circumstances being what they were, they wound up happy anyway.
Maybe they're unconventional, but my parents are still together and part of a functional family. Most of my friends' parents, who are more the "seeking your one true love" type, aren't.
Tue May 02, 2006 1:20 am
Love
This is a very complicated subject and I think that no one has the same view or the same feelings when it comes to love. I believe that I have found the one and plan on spending the rest of my life with her. We have been through hard times and through easier times but what I think makes us stick together is the fact that we take a mature approch to all problems. If we hate something about the other we don't get all "no nothings wrong", we tell each other and work it out. ...
Where I am going with this is that love cannot make things work. How ever strong the feelings it needs work. Thats the problem with highschool couples, they usually think they love the other but they don't put any work or effort in the relationship. I'm not saying you have to change for the person tho.
My definition of love is that you like someone enough to die for them, to do everything in your power to make them happy and stay with them. Every second with that person makes you happy and when some moments arn't as happy they are compensated for when everything is solved. Love is that feeling that makes you smile when you see the other person, in what ever state they are. Even if they look like crap on that day. ...
Ok enough sappyness from me xD
This is a very complicated subject and I think that no one has the same view or the same feelings when it comes to love. I believe that I have found the one and plan on spending the rest of my life with her. We have been through hard times and through easier times but what I think makes us stick together is the fact that we take a mature approch to all problems. If we hate something about the other we don't get all "no nothings wrong", we tell each other and work it out. ...
Where I am going with this is that love cannot make things work. How ever strong the feelings it needs work. Thats the problem with highschool couples, they usually think they love the other but they don't put any work or effort in the relationship. I'm not saying you have to change for the person tho.
My definition of love is that you like someone enough to die for them, to do everything in your power to make them happy and stay with them. Every second with that person makes you happy and when some moments arn't as happy they are compensated for when everything is solved. Love is that feeling that makes you smile when you see the other person, in what ever state they are. Even if they look like crap on that day. ...
Ok enough sappyness from me xD
Tue May 02, 2006 2:43 am
Anoohilator wrote:What is love? Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more...
pwned
. best. thing. to. say. EVER.
in the words of the great agumon, love is when you care for someone more than you care about yourself. from this, i can say that i surely love my closest friends. but not in a romantic way. i guess there are infinite kinds of love.
personally, i don't think i've found the love of my life yet, but i'm still extremely young by comparaison to a lot of you (15). i do believe that when or if i find my true love, i will stay with them forever
Tue May 02, 2006 6:26 am
Just because it may not last forever doesn't mean it's not worth the time it does last.
Tue May 02, 2006 6:49 am
For the most part I'd say that if a relationship doesn't last it really wasn't worth the time unless you can take a learning experience from it.
I know I could've done without my past relationships. I really didn't learn anything I didn't already know, I guess all I did learn was that I was right all along and I should have more faith in my gut feelings.
I know I could've done without my past relationships. I really didn't learn anything I didn't already know, I guess all I did learn was that I was right all along and I should have more faith in my gut feelings.
Tue May 02, 2006 7:33 pm
rageaholic wrote:Just because it may not last forever doesn't mean it's not worth the time it does last.
but is it worth the pain of its end? if it lasted for a very long time, it would hurt a lot when it ends. is the relationship worth that pain?
Tue May 02, 2006 8:46 pm
To people asking "Is it worth it?", that's a personal question. To some people it is, to some people it isn't. Like I said before, it's dangerous to draw universals because you usually end up wrong.
Wed May 03, 2006 2:32 am
matchbow wrote:rageaholic wrote:Just because it may not last forever doesn't mean it's not worth the time it does last.
but is it worth the pain of its end? if it lasted for a very long time, it would hurt a lot when it ends. is the relationship worth that pain?
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
Wed May 03, 2006 2:34 am
Ammer wrote:matchbow wrote:rageaholic wrote:Just because it may not last forever doesn't mean it's not worth the time it does last.
but is it worth the pain of its end? if it lasted for a very long time, it would hurt a lot when it ends. is the relationship worth that pain?
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
Or scars you for life and makes you go insane.
Thu May 04, 2006 11:36 pm
Well, I'm in love right now and the actual experience of falling in love was both scary and wonderful. I believe that in the best relationship-one of true love-the couple are friends with each other. It doesn't necessarily mean you had to have been friends before, and perhaps it might take you time to reach that point, but I don't believe in playing stupid games.
The thing with high school relationships is people tend to be so immature...Although when we have problems we work them out right away instead of letting them sit. You know they always say that the thing that ruins most relationships is lack of communication. Although everyone has heard that a million times I do believe that it's true, you need to be able to discuss things properly with the other person, and there needs to be the desire to want to work things out.
Personally, I formed a pretty bad view of the male gender after seeing my mother end up married three times with three jerks who were abusive, to some degree, to both her and me. Granted she is also abusive to them and me, and I'm at the point now where I can examine the petty fights she has with my current stepfather, and realize the idiocy of it all. When I and the one I love argue it is not like that at all...Nothing is solved by yelling and bringing up old things that were past. Maybe people don't realize that you need to put work into a relationship!
Now, my first somewhat sort of real relationship with a guy was last summer and lasted around six-sevenish weeks. He said he loved me-although I knew I didn't love him, at all-Thing was he was abusive. He is very strong (I weigh barely 99 lbs) and would purposely start to crush me when he held me, to the point that I would scream but not be able to move, among other things. I never really had a good view of the male gender in the first place but after that I was pretty set against ever falling in love with one.
Thing is a certain someone happened to change that, forcing me to realize it is pretty naiive to think you can just dam up something as tumultous as the river love (Yes I'm getting a little sappy-poetic here. Bear with me).
My final comment is that I think that love transcends defining. Nor does it need to be defined. It just is. And it's beautiful when it happens.
The thing with high school relationships is people tend to be so immature...Although when we have problems we work them out right away instead of letting them sit. You know they always say that the thing that ruins most relationships is lack of communication. Although everyone has heard that a million times I do believe that it's true, you need to be able to discuss things properly with the other person, and there needs to be the desire to want to work things out.
Personally, I formed a pretty bad view of the male gender after seeing my mother end up married three times with three jerks who were abusive, to some degree, to both her and me. Granted she is also abusive to them and me, and I'm at the point now where I can examine the petty fights she has with my current stepfather, and realize the idiocy of it all. When I and the one I love argue it is not like that at all...Nothing is solved by yelling and bringing up old things that were past. Maybe people don't realize that you need to put work into a relationship!
Now, my first somewhat sort of real relationship with a guy was last summer and lasted around six-sevenish weeks. He said he loved me-although I knew I didn't love him, at all-Thing was he was abusive. He is very strong (I weigh barely 99 lbs) and would purposely start to crush me when he held me, to the point that I would scream but not be able to move, among other things. I never really had a good view of the male gender in the first place but after that I was pretty set against ever falling in love with one.
Thing is a certain someone happened to change that, forcing me to realize it is pretty naiive to think you can just dam up something as tumultous as the river love (Yes I'm getting a little sappy-poetic here. Bear with me).
My final comment is that I think that love transcends defining. Nor does it need to be defined. It just is. And it's beautiful when it happens.
Fri May 05, 2006 1:06 am
I've fallen in love as my body's way of getting me out of a horrible clique despite my denial. (I had previously broken the guy's nose with a lunch tray, though, so the clique was with me until the summer.) I've fallen in love out of sheer sympathy for a boy victimized by fellow members of an even-more-horrible clique. I've fallen in love with somebody solely because he was the only geek in the school (but fell out of love when I realized what a crashing bore he was.)
I think I have experienced true love, though - it was pure and based on friendship, and when I gave him a love letter and he rejected it, we were perfectly comfortable being friends again, even though I retained my crush. Love shouldn't be an uncomfortable feeling.
Somehow, I can't believe this isn't on the Divas board, but I'm glad to see it isn't.
I think I have experienced true love, though - it was pure and based on friendship, and when I gave him a love letter and he rejected it, we were perfectly comfortable being friends again, even though I retained my crush. Love shouldn't be an uncomfortable feeling.
Somehow, I can't believe this isn't on the Divas board, but I'm glad to see it isn't.