When the Woman Makes More

[Sugarinii]

Why does it matter who makes more?

No. Seriously. Why does it matter? Someone in a relationship will always make more, what does it matter if it's the man or the woman?

I don't really think it does matter-It wouldn't to me-But it's a sort of semi-new concept and some people don't take it well.

[Drake Redcrest]

What makes you willing to miss seeing your children develop and grow, but have a career instead? It's not an attack, just a slightly confused question.

While I will not have children, I feel I can offer a response to this: some people do not want to spend their entire life sitting at home burping a baby. They want to have their OWN lives, they want to get out of the house.

I did perfectly fine at a babysitter. Then my dad stayed at home all the time. But now we do not HAVE that option, and my mom works all the time. Should she quit her job to watch my sister and I develop and grow? Even though we're not small children, we certainly ARE still developing and growing.

[Bangel]

In response to Bangel - in this partnership, with two people working, would you intend to send children to a nursery? Would you work at night to compromise, but risk seeing little of your partner?

I can't answer that question because I'm not in that situation (and hopefully won't be for a long time) and I'm sure there would be a million circumstances to consider. If it was not possible for me to both work and have children in my situation (maternity leave is an exception, obviously I can't have a two day old kid/work at the same time), then I wouldn't have children. It would depend on the line of work, as well... some people can take their children to work, others can't.

[Pixa]

What makes you willing to miss seeing your children develop and grow, but have a career instead? It's not an attack, just a slightly confused question.

I did perfectly fine at a babysitter. Then my dad stayed at home all the time. But now we do not HAVE that option, and my mom works all the time. Should she quit her job to watch my sister and I develop and grow? Even though we're not small children, we certainly ARE still developing and growing.

I can assure you my mum wouldn't enjoy it as much now, hehe, watching me on the computer, and my brother, when here, well, that'd be a rarity. I'm more independent now, however, when I was younger, I did not have the ability to make the choices I do now.

I understand the point of view that people do not have the choice, and empathize with them. To be honest with you, my mum doesn't have much of a choice either, and I think it sad people should have to choose between spending time with family or money, money is required, and that is the choice people have to make.

Though slightly controversial, if people are not willing to make sacrifices, then I think they should reconsider having a child.

[Kugetsu]

Furthermore, it's completely and utterly false that women and men who have both children and careers miss seeing their children develop and grow. My mom has a full-time job and yet has been the one to raise my sister and I- she's missed nothing.

That's not entirely true (or entirely false, for that matter). There are also people that work 2nd shift and aren't there during the night, but are around when their children are at school (for the ones that go to school). There are children that are shoved off to daycares or other relatives all day because no parents are home to watch them. They spend probably double the time during the week with this other person or people than they do with their parents during the weekdays. There is a point at which babysitters and the like are fine on a daily basis, and a child should be able to get used to it and understand it, by that time.

I believe that at least one parent should be around when the child is an infant (unless, of course, it's a single parent), once they hit a certain age, a babysitter and such are fine. It doesn't matter what gender the parent is, parents do miss out when they only see their children a couple hours a day at such a young age.

[Asthaloth]

I have no discomfort at earning less than my partner (Although that may change soon.) Don't really see why it should.

My Dad makes more than my mum (But he's a class 1 lorry driver - or rather was, he drives Dump trucks these days)

[pipsqueeek]

Who makes more money doesn't really matter to me. I wouldn't even care if I wasn't making any money, so long as I felt like I was doing something worthwile with my time. Whether that was raising kids, taking classes, working full time, whatever, doesn't matter, as long as I feel like I'm not wasting my time.

[Harmonize]

I wouldnt really mind who made more money, just as long as there was money coming in. Although if my husband made a lot of money I wouldnt mind being a housewife, because theres so many other things I can do apart from clean, cook, and look after the kids at home.

[yvonne_l_d]

Speaking as a female, my only concern about my partner's vocation is that he should feel it is his purpose in life. It should be fulfilling.

It won't bother me if he earns less, because I plan to work and know how to budget. It won't bother me if he earns more, because I don't think ego has a place in these things.

Though slightly controversial, if people are not willing to make sacrifices, then I think they should reconsider having a child.

I agree but I don't believe that my career is one of the things that I will be required to sacrifice.

[Twinkle]

See, I don't mind either way but I couldn't have a career and a child at the same time. I don't want to have to leave my kids with a babysitter who puts them to bed long before I get home, you know? I don't want to miss a thing if I ever have children and to have a regular job, you do miss things, like it or not.

I'd probably get a part-time job when all of my children are settled in school but only if my partner earned enough to support the family. As I'm training to be a dancer, I doubt that I'll ever get a high earning job anyway!

[Igg]

I don't know my personal plans.

My mum had been earning more than my dad since before we were born. Now she earns about 4 times what he does. Big woo.

[thelilbear]

I don't know my personal plans.

My mum had been earning more than my dad since before we were born. Now she earns about 4 times what he does. Big woo.

yeah, my mom earns more than my dad too, and he went to college and she didn't.

[shapu]

Hey, more money from her means more money of my own that I get to keep.

I'd be perfectly happy with my wife earning more than me. I don't know that I'd be content to be a househusband - I'm too used to the idea of work, and there's no amount of hobbies that could keep me from going starkers with boredom.

But cash money? Sure, bring it on.

[Xandra]

Furthermore, it's completely and utterly false that women and men who have both children and careers miss seeing their children develop and grow. My mom has a full-time job and yet has been the one to raise my sister and I- she's missed nothing.

That's not entirely true (or entirely false, for that matter). There are also people that work 2nd shift and aren't there during the night, but are around when their children are at school (for the ones that go to school). There are children that are shoved off to daycares or other relatives all day because no parents are home to watch them. They spend probably double the time during the week with this other person or people than they do with their parents during the weekdays.

Touché.

[Articfox]

Mom makes more money or whether Dad makes more money does it really even matter? It all goes to the same bills. And money is money, I know some guys get a complex when they're wives make more money then them, I know one. But it really shouldn't be an issue, well it's not one with me.
As the whole Mr. Mom thing goes, just by how I feel personally, I would really feel me before my wife should be the one out going to work, in all reality I would actually expect us both to be working. I actually wouldn't want her to just stay at home because finances would get tight then. But I think its kinda built into guys to naturally wanna support the family, before there wives. And I actually think the "stay at home mom" has gotten a bit derogatized in the last couple years.
I think alot of people tend to think a stay at home mom is a boring submissive shut in who slaves over turkey dinner while burping two babies at once and massaging father's stinky feet when he gets home.
But in reality the person off at work is in an enclosed area for the same ammount of the day as the house mom/dad. So technically the two kinda balance each other out. They're both supporting the family, just on different fronts. And whether they want to make it house dad or house mom or what have you then thats all completely a personal decision that I could honestly care less about.