Try and answer each one before going on:
How many elephants can you stick in a VW Bug?
4; 2 in the front, 2 in the back.
How do you kill a blue elephant?
Shoot it with a blue elephant gun.
How do you kill a yellow elephant?
Squeeze its neck until it's a blue elephant, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.
How can you tell if an elephant is in your refrigerator?
Footprint in the mayo.
How can you tell if 2 elephants are in your refrigerator?
2 footprints in the mayo.
How can you tell if 3 elephants are in your refrigerator?
The door won't close.
How can you tell if 4 elephants are in your refrigerator?
VW Bug in the driveway.
Elephant Jokes!
Moderator: Moderators
-
Uncle Xyzzy
- Beyond Godly
- Posts: 2679
- Joined: Wed Jun 02, 2004 1:03 am
- Location: Uh... Nowhere Set: Blue
-
Makuta_Neodude
- PPT Student
- Posts: 268
- Joined: Sun Mar 19, 2006 3:24 am
- Location: stuck inside the giant jelly-HELP!
- Contact:
funny hehe
I have a similar one:
There are 4 koalas sitting in a tree. they all fall out.
How did the first one fall out?
It was tied to a refrigerator
How did the second one fall out?
It was tied to the first one
How did the third one fall out?
It was inside the refrigerator
How did the last one fall out?
It got shot.
Why did Napoleon Dynamite cross the road?
Because he felt like it, gawd!
Why did the communist chicken cross the road?
For the good of the People
One day, Jimmy's riding his bike. Suddenly he falls off.
Why?
He was hit by four koalas and a refrigerator
I have a similar one:
There are 4 koalas sitting in a tree. they all fall out.
How did the first one fall out?
It was tied to a refrigerator
How did the second one fall out?
It was tied to the first one
How did the third one fall out?
It was inside the refrigerator
How did the last one fall out?
It got shot.
Why did Napoleon Dynamite cross the road?
Because he felt like it, gawd!
Why did the communist chicken cross the road?
For the good of the People
One day, Jimmy's riding his bike. Suddenly he falls off.
Why?
He was hit by four koalas and a refrigerator
-
pipsqueeek
- PPT God
- Posts: 1842
- Joined: Mon Oct 03, 2005 4:46 pm
- Location: sleep deprivation
heh, I know a variation of Makuta's(I like mine better, but I may just be biased 
)
A monkey fell out of a tree. Why?
It was dead.
A second monkey fell out a a tree. Why?
It was knocked out by the first monkey.
A third monkey fell out of a tree. Why?
Peer Pressure.
A boy fell off his bicycle. Why?
He was attacked by a barrage of falling monkeys.
heh... I know a bunch more too, but I don't feel like typing it all out The monkey one's the best, anyway.
)
A monkey fell out of a tree. Why?
It was dead.
A second monkey fell out a a tree. Why?
It was knocked out by the first monkey.
A third monkey fell out of a tree. Why?
Peer Pressure.
A boy fell off his bicycle. Why?
He was attacked by a barrage of falling monkeys.
heh... I know a bunch more too, but I don't feel like typing it all out
The monkey one's the best, anyway.
Laq
pipsqueeek wrote:heh, I know a variation of Makuta's(I like mine better, but I may just be biased
A monkey fell out of a tree. Why?
It was dead.
A second monkey fell out a a tree. Why?
It was knocked out by the first monkey.
A third monkey fell out of a tree. Why?
Peer Pressure.
A boy fell off his bicycle. Why?
He was attacked by a barrage of falling monkeys.
heh... I know a bunch more too, but I don't feel like typing it all out
I heard a similar monkey one
There are three monkeys in a tree.
The first monkey fell out of the tree. Why?
It got shot.
The second monkey fell out of the tree. Why?
Monkey see, monkey do.
The third monkey fell out of the tree. Why?
Peer pressure.
I know something similar to the elephant one (where they don't seem to be related much at all at first!)
There was once a currant bun and a cinnamon roll. On his way out to lunch one day, the roll asked if the bun would like anything to eat. The bun asked for Chinese, but when the roll returned, he had with him pizza. Angry, the bun tossed the roll into the river. What's the moral of the story?
Give the bun what it wants.
And the ever famous one:
How do you put an elephant into a fridge?
Open the door, put in the elephant, and close the door.
How do you put a giraffe into a fridge?
Open the door, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe and close the door.
The lion, King of all the animals, called a meeting. Every animal was expected to attend. Which one didn't, and why?
The giraffe. It was stuck in the fridge.
On the way back to your camp, you have to cross a murky river too wide to jump across. You would swim over, but a sign by the water's edge says: DANGER: DEADLY PIRANHAS AND CROCODILES. There is no bridge, and everything is just flat marshy land for as far as the eye can see. How do you get across without getting bitten?
Just swim across. The piranhas and crocodiles are all at the meeting.
At camp, all you find in your fridge is a giraffe, so you return to the river and go fishing. You feel a tug on the line. What do you reel in?
A cinnamon roll!
Normally the first one can be any kind of a story/joke, as long as something ends up in a river which is not an animal
There was once a currant bun and a cinnamon roll. On his way out to lunch one day, the roll asked if the bun would like anything to eat. The bun asked for Chinese, but when the roll returned, he had with him pizza. Angry, the bun tossed the roll into the river. What's the moral of the story?
Give the bun what it wants.
And the ever famous one:
How do you put an elephant into a fridge?
Open the door, put in the elephant, and close the door.
How do you put a giraffe into a fridge?
Open the door, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe and close the door.
The lion, King of all the animals, called a meeting. Every animal was expected to attend. Which one didn't, and why?
The giraffe. It was stuck in the fridge.
On the way back to your camp, you have to cross a murky river too wide to jump across. You would swim over, but a sign by the water's edge says: DANGER: DEADLY PIRANHAS AND CROCODILES. There is no bridge, and everything is just flat marshy land for as far as the eye can see. How do you get across without getting bitten?
Just swim across. The piranhas and crocodiles are all at the meeting.
At camp, all you find in your fridge is a giraffe, so you return to the river and go fishing. You feel a tug on the line. What do you reel in?
A cinnamon roll!
Normally the first one can be any kind of a story/joke, as long as something ends up in a river which is not an animal
Re: Elephant Jokes!
The poor monkeys 
It reminds me of another joke...
Why did pipsqueeek fall out of a tree?
Clucky pushed her for being mean to monkeys.
Why did Zilary fall out of a tree?
Clucky pushed her for being mean to monkeys.
Why did Clucky fall out of a tree?
A mod pushed him for being mean to Zilary and Pipsqueeek.
Fixed
It reminds me of another joke...
Why did pipsqueeek fall out of a tree?
Clucky pushed her for being mean to monkeys.
Why did Zilary fall out of a tree?
Clucky pushed her for being mean to monkeys.
Why did Clucky fall out of a tree?
A mod pushed him for being mean to Zilary and Pipsqueeek.
Fixed
Last edited by sirclucky on Sun Jun 24, 2007 11:28 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Re: Elephant Jokes!
sirclucky wrote:The poor monkeys
It reminds me of another joke...
Why did pipsqueeek fall out of a tree?
Clucky pushed her for being mean to monkeys.
Why did Zilary fall out of a tree?
Clucky pushed him for being mean to monkeys.
Why did Clucky fall out of a tree?
A mod pushed him for being mean to Zilary and Pipsqueeek.
I'm a she.
(yeah, why don't our posts show our genders anymore??)Hehehe...but nice joke though
Re: Elephant Jokes!
sirclucky wrote:The poor monkeys
It reminds me of another joke...
Why did pipsqueeek fall out of a tree?
Clucky pushed her for being mean to monkeys.
Why did Zilary fall out of a tree?
Clucky pushed her for being mean to monkeys.
Why did Clucky fall out of a tree?
A mod pushed him for being mean to Zilary and Pipsqueeek.
Fixed
Ha! You all deserved it
Xyzzy, yours are clever
Re: Elephant Jokes!
There's an elephant and a banana.
Why the elephant didn't eat the banana?
The banana's made of plastic.
Now, the banana is real, why the elephant didn't eat the banana?
The elephant's made of plastic.
Now both the elephant and the banana are real, why the elephant didn't eat the banana?
The banana's in TV.
Now both the elephant and the banana are real and are in TV, why the elephant didn't eat the banana??
They are in different channels.
Why the elephant didn't eat the banana?
The banana's made of plastic.
Now, the banana is real, why the elephant didn't eat the banana?
The elephant's made of plastic.
Now both the elephant and the banana are real, why the elephant didn't eat the banana?
The banana's in TV.
Now both the elephant and the banana are real and are in TV, why the elephant didn't eat the banana??
They are in different channels.
Is it normal to not get any of these jokes? xD